The Cat And The Candy Floss

"Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers"


(My eyes hurt from all the princelings)


There was once a cat, that liked to eat candy floss. Unfortunately there was not an abundant supply in his ghetto neighbourhood, being far from any carnival or rotisserie. This cat longed for candy floss more than anything in the world! More than mice! More than string! More than even LOVE! His heart yearned for it more than anything in the world. He spent hours of the day, pitifully staring out of the window of his residence; hoping that one day someone would walk by eating some of that precious substance he so coveted. He was consumed by it. He took to google imaging and attempting to eat the subsequent images. Anything pink was instantly destroyed by his anger. Too many a time had he found the candy-floss maker in the Argos catalogue and showed it meaningfully to his owners, only for them to push him away before resuming their heroin fuelled s&m. He shut himself off from the outside world. He no longer went to visit his girlfriend 3 doors down, or his best friends over on Winchester Lane. He hadn't called his mum in 7 cat-weeks!.He was an addict. Completely and utterly beyond hope. It was killing him. His fur had grown mangy and discoloured. He was ghostly thin, and he could barely stand upright for any period of time. It was pitiful. It was disgusting. He couldn't take it anymore.


Then he shot himself.


THE END!