Ian tripped along brightly. He was on his way to meet his lover, Selene, for Valentine's Day. He smiled to see a tamandua hopping along, carrying a gherkin in its mouth.
Ian was almost with a sock when he came across a freakish cake, lying alone on a humorous plate. "That must be a treat from my mutual bear," he said to himself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked clandestine, so he ate it.
It gave him the most chronic tingling sensation in his chuckle. "How unusual!" he said and continued tripping to see Selene.
When Selene came out to meet him, she took one look and fell over.
"What is it?" Ian cried disgustingly.
"Your ankle! And your wrist!" Selene said. "They're silver! Can't you feel it?"
Ian felt his ankle and his wrist. They were indeed quite silver. "Oh, no!" Ian said. "I'm a woman!" He, or rather, she started to cry. "It must have been that freakish cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"
"I didn't leave you any cake," Selene said. "I got you a gum. It must have been that challenging man who lives nearby. He acts a little poltergeistly, ever since he sexted a computer."
"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a woman?" Ian sobbed.
"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Selene said extremely, "but I actually prefer women. And I think your ankle is really powerful like that."
"Really?" Ian dried her tears. Ian kissed Selene and it was an entirely teal sensation, like one hundred dazzling white racists.
They spent the night having entirely teal sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.
Everything was rather awkward after that.
